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Black / S funny T-Shirt that says Don’t be a douche. | Deadpan Edition Tee by Sweary Brand

Don’t Be a Douche | Funny Sarcastic T-Shirt | Sweary Brand Deadpan Edition

Regular Price  $38.00 Sale Price  $30.40
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⏰ Ships out in 1-3 business days
🇺🇸 Designed & printed to order in the USA

We're a small family-owned & smartass-operated biz in the Midwest. Our designs start from funny conversations, profanity-filled rants, and shit that happens in real life. IYKYK.

Product Details

This funny sarcastic t-shirt delivers timeless wisdom in two short phrases: Don’t. Be. A. Douche. Perfect for anyone who believes common sense should be common but isn’t.

Printed in gray typewriter font on soft black cotton, it’s comfortable, subtle, and somehow still louder than people’s bad behavior. Wear it to work, the gym, or anywhere good manners have gone missing.

  • Buttery-soft unisex fabric that feels like justice
  • Tag-free neck for irritation-free integrity
  • Durable print that outlasts poor decisions

This funny graphic tee doubles as public service and personal therapy. A top-tier adult humor gift for anyone who’s tired of saying it out loud.

Return Policy

Our goal is for every customer to be totally happy with their purchase! If this isn't the case, let us know within 30 days of receiving your order and we'll work with you to make it right.

Payment Methods
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Shit You Should Know...

Fit + Fabric

Our tees are: unisex, fashion-fit (not boxy), TAGLESS, super soft, lightweight, and built for repeat wear. Ringspun cotton, y'all! Guys and gals love 'em!

Wash Instructions

Wash your shirt before wearing it the first time! Turn it inside out. Wash with cold water. Tumble dry low or air dry. Enjoy!

Print Method + Color

Our designs are printed into the fabric (not layered on top), so they're breathable. Colors may vary slightly IRL — screens are liars.

Questions, anyone? Anyone?

These are unisex tees, so they fit like your favorite go-to shirt. Size up for a looser fit, size down if you like it clingy. Be sure to check the size chart!

Uhh...nope! Thankfully, our tees are pre-shrunk and made from super soft & durable 100% cotton, so they’ll keep their shape. Please wash yours before wearing the first time! Wash inside out on cold, dry on low or hang to dry.

Short answer: Soon. Slightly longer answer: It depends. All of our items are printed-to-order, and we partner with a few U.S.-based print partners. So depending on what you ordered, items may ship separately. Most orders are processed within 1–3 business days, then shipped out with tracking. You’ll get email updates every step of the way!

If something arrives damaged, defective, or misprinted, we’ll fix it fast. Just send an email with photos to support@swearybrand.com within *30 days* of receiving your order and we'll work with you to make it right. We offer customized solutions based on your situation (refund, exchange, shop credit, or discount on a reorder).

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